The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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