Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't turn off my feet"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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