Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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