sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
