I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think my moral compass just broke
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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