my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
