I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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