thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
