I will die if light touches me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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