We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
