worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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