Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize