He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
