I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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