I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
