you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
