ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
