But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
