Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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