everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
