$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
