Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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