Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's blow job season.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
