Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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