What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
