speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
