i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
