You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ttyl tear gas
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
