Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
