I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
