my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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