just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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