is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
