I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
