Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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