Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I understand Curling. That high.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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