10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
