He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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