So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize