i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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