I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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