i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
