When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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