That's intense
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
