I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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