It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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