Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
