I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
