am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
