it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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