then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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