Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
