I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
