Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
