Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
