her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
