I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
