i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
