Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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