Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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