I want to make a zoo with you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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