I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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