you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
