oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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