i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
