Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
