that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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