Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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