apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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