Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
