i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
