I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize