The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
