i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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