so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
