i would punch a child for taco bell
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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