I cut my penus on the lid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
