Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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