So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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