So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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