i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
